Sunday, September 2, 2012

First day at school joke

First day at school joke

Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Knock Knock - Caterpillar joke

Knock Knock - Caterpillar joke

Knock Knock

Who's there!


Caterpillar who?

Caterpillar a few mice for you!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Bug joke of the day for kids

Bug joke of the day for kids 
Jake says: "Waiter, what is this bug in my soup?"

Waiter says: "How should I know? I don't know one bug from another. I am a waiter, not an entomologist!"

Thursday, August 23, 2012

An ideal homework excuse joke

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing.

Kids jokes provide all kinds of kids jokes.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

10 Ways to Promote Kids' Healthy Eating Habits


If bad eating habits reign, they can be hard to change — especially when they've become comfortable routines. But by keeping unhealthy foods out of your home, and bringing healthy foods in, it's possible to promote better eating habits, even with the pickiest kids.

Whether you're trying to cajole your toddler to give peas a chance, or attempting to persuade your tween into drinking something other than soda, these healthy eating tips might be worth a try.

Don't Ban Junk Food Outright

Once kids get their first taste of crunchy, sweet or salty foods, it's hard to get them unhooked, according to pediatric psychologist Eileen Kennedy, of the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.

Still, she recommended that parents limit the number of treats that kids are allowed to eat each day, rather than ban these foods completely. That way, kids won't be as tempted to want what they can't have.

Banning a specific food is also a bad idea because if the food becomes available to your child outside your home, he or she might eat it despite feeling full, Kennedy said. This can lead to a habit of overeating.

Parents should also avoid restricting desserts or other treats as punishment for bad behavior, because this can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food, she said.

Encourage Them to Eat Smart at School

Look over your child's school lunch options — many schools provide a printout of each month's lunch menu, Kennedy said. Go over each day's meal choices with your child, and challenge him or her to identify the healthiest option.

That way, your child will be aware of all the selections they have to choose from, and will gain experience in making nutritious food decisions.

As for snacks, rather than giving your kids money for the vending machines at school , make it clear to them that they can instead save their soda or candy money and spend it on nonfood items. To encourage them to not blow their pocket change on sugary or salty treats, give them plenty of healthy snacks, such as apples, to bring to school, Kennedy recommended.

Avoid Buying Unhealthy Foods in Bulk

If you want to buy a treat, buy the smallest possible package of that food, instead of the economy bulk-sized packages, Kennedy said.

For example, buying a bulk pack of small, single-serving bags of cheesy popcorn is better than buying one massive, bulk-size bag of the popcorn.

And store any bulk-size snack foods out of kids' sight and reach , Kennedy said, so that they will be less tempted to mindlessly graze on it throughout the day.

Warn Kids About Drinking Calories

While tweens and teenagers may be aware of which unhealthy foods are packed with calories, they may be oblivious to how many empty calories they consume daily from sugary drinks, Kennedy said.

For example, a McDonald's 22-ounce Chocolate McCafe Shake packs a whopping 880 calories — nearly half of the daily calorie intake recommended for most 9- to 13-year-olds by the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA). Make tweens and teens aware of how many empty calories are in their favorite unhealthy drinks , and advise them to choose a diet or zero-calorie version of a beverage if they can, she recommended.

To help kids develop a healthy liquid calorie habit from an early age, give your toddler plenty of water and plain milk to avoid getting them used to sugary juice or chocolate milk. If you do give them juice, give them 100 percent fruit juice and water it down, mixing equal parts water and juice.

Promote Fruits and Veggies at Dinner

When cooking dinner, always make sure to have one healthy item that your child likes and will eat, Kennedy said.

Cook a limited amount of the meal's starch dish, such as potatoes, butextras of the fruits and vegetables, to encourage seconds. [6 Easy Ways to Eat More Fruits and Vegetables ]

To further entice your picky eater to try a healthy, vegetable-rich dish, let them watch you prepare it and allow them to add in some ingredients themselves under your supervision, the USDA recommends. Name the food your child helped create, and make a big deal of serving "Tania's Thai Salad" or "Henry's Corn and Avocado Tacos" for dinner.

Set a Good Example

It may seem that your kids — especially teenagers — often do the exact opposite of your healthy-eating advice, but in fact, your opinion and actions make a big impact on how they view nutrition, the USDA advises.

Preschoolers especially love to copy what their parents do, and are likely to mimic your meal preferences and willingness to try new foods. Take advantage of this “monkey-see, monkey-do” behavior and make healthy eating choices in front of them.

Eat snacks and meals with your child whenever possible, so they see how much you enjoy eating fruits and vegetables, and make mealtime fun by trying new foods together, the USDA says.

If you have older kids, discourage them from making a "yuck" face when eating vegetables or talking negatively about a certain dish around a younger child at the dinner table.

Start with Small Portions

Use smaller plates , bowls and utensils for your child to eat with, and allow them to serve themselves when they are old enough to safely do so, the USDA says. You can begin this practice when they are 3 to 5 years old, and start with allowing them to take a serving of salad or some other non-hot food from small bowl that you hold for them.

This will make them feel "like a grown-up," while helping them learn to measure out how much they want to eat and understand portion size. Encourage them to take one serving at a time and go back for seconds only if they are still hungry.

Help Them Recognize When They’ve Eaten Enough

Remind your children to stop eating once they begin to feel full, the USDA says. Do not urge them to finish all the food on their plate, and do not praise them for completely clearing their plate.

Instead, tell them that it's best to only eat as much as they want at that time, and that the leftovers can be finished later when they become hungry again.

Allow your child to stop eating when they feel that they are full, even if you sometimes feel that they have not eaten enough. Making them eat when they are no longer hunger can lead to unhealthy overeating habits.

To help your young child learn to listen to their body's fullness cues at mealtime, the USDA recommends ask them questions such as "Is your tummy telling you that you’re full?" or "Is your stomach still making that hungry growling noise?"

Stick to a Strict Meal and Snack Schedule

Keeping to a regular meal and snack time schedule discourages kids from grazing throughout the day, or becoming too hungry in between meals, which can cause them to compensate by overeating later, the USDA says.

Most children require three meals and one or two snacks each day , but consult with your child's pediatrician, doctor or nutritionist if you're worried that they're overeating or not eating enough.

And although it's important to stick to an eating schedule, do not pressure your child into eating if they sometimes say that they are not hungry at mealtime.

If your child skips a meal, do not let them "make up for it" with candy or cookies, the USDA says. Instead, offer a healthy snack, such as apples or baby carrots, and make sure that they eat enough at their next full meal.

Nutritious New Foods: Try, Try Again

Don't be discouraged if your toddler stubbornly turns away from mashed broccoli or strained peas, the USDA says. It takes time for children to learn to like a new food's taste and texture. Offer a new food many times, as it can take up to a dozen tries for a child to decide they like a certain food.

To help a picky eater or rebellious teen feel more in control of their food choices — and therefore be more likely to eat the healthy meals you dish out — pose food questions as an option. For example, ask "Which would you prefer at dinner: cucumbers or tomatoes?" instead of "Do you want tomatoes as a dinner side dish?"

Dave's Top 10 funniest jokes from the Fringe Festival 2012

1. Stewart Francis - "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."
2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly."
3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."
4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case."
5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet ... I don't know why."
6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze."
7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."
8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting."
9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad'."
10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism ... she wouldn't fancy her chances."

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Fit fruit and veggies into our meals

        You may have heard that you should eat 5 servings of fruit and vegetables a day — which works out to a total of about 2½ cups. But experts actually recommend getting even more than that amount.
        There are no limits on the quantities of tasty fruits and veggies you can enjoy — unless, of course, you load 'em up with butter or dressing, or deep-fry them! But many of us still find it hard to fit fruit and veggies into our meals.
Here are some ideas to help you get into the 5-a-day (or more!) habit:
1.Start with the first meal of the day. Plan to eat a serving or two of fruit with breakfast every day. Mix it up so you don't get bored. Half a grapefruit, an apple, or a handful of berries on your cereal are all good choices. Orange juice counts too — but only if you drink 100% juice. (Limit juice to 1 or 2 servings a day). Continue this pattern by eating vegetables at lunch and at dinner.
2.Get extra energy from fruit or vegetable snacks. The carbohydrates in fruit and vegetables are great sources of energy. Combine them with a serving of protein — such as a piece of cheese, a cup of yogurt, or a tablespoon of peanut butter, and you get staying power too. Ants on a log, anyone?
3.Double up on fruit and veggie servings. Recommended servings of fruit and veggies can be small. Unlike other foods, it's OK to double the serving size of fruit or vegetables. Serve yourself a 1-cup portion of broccoli or tomatoes instead of the standard serving of ½ cup.
4.Use fruit and vegetables as ingredients. Enjoy bread? Bake up a batch of zucchini bread and get your veggies along with your grains! Use applesauce instead of oil in your baked goods. Chop up veggies (peppers, carrots, celery) and toss them into your favorite chili recipe. If you don't like vegetables much, sneak them into foods you do enjoy (like grating carrots into tomato sauce or, again, zucchini into bread). It's a great way to get your veggies without having to taste them!
5.Try a new fruit, vegetable, or recipe each week. Our bodies like variety. So set a goal to try something different each week. You may find a new favorite. One good way to get variety is to eat the fruit and veggies that are in season in your area. They usually taste better than the bland fruit salad or shriveled apples you're used to seeing in the cafeteria!

Ok. Today's joke is about food:

Salt and pepper joke:
Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?

A. Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!                              From kids jokes

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Kids jokes sites

        I have studied kids jokes on the Internet for two days. And I also check the quality of the kids jokes' site. As we all know, thare are many jokes sites for kids and children of all ages, each full of kids jokes and kids humor, including many kinds of kids jokes, like animal jokes, knock knock jokes, school jokes, parents jokes, food jokes, yo mama jokes. I always look for jokes for my kids. And I know a lot of jokes sites. I'd like to share my experience with you.

The jokes sites below are the favourite jokes sites for me:
1. Aha jokes     

2. Kids jokes for children of all ages    

3. Kids jokes and riddles

4. Kids Jokes  

5. Kids Jokes - Jokes for Children   

6. Yahoo!kids    

7. Clean Jokes, Kid Jokes and Humor

8. Best jokes ever, world best jokes   

9.Jokes: big list of kids jokes

10. Kids jokes of the day, kids jokes

Really hope this list will help you. A joke a day!

Refusing to Walk

        If your previously normal walker suddenly refuses to walk, report this to your baby's doctor. Take notes based on the following:

•Can you recall anything that may have triggered the refusal to walk, such as an injury or scare after a recent fall? Record details of the day's activities before the walking strike.

•Do a parent exam. Undress baby. Feel and look all over the legs and feet for bruising, redness, swelling, and areas of tenderness as you carefully squeeze all the leg bones and anklebones. Compare one leg with the other; move the hip, knee, and ankle joints. Does the child wince in pain? Examine and tap around the soles for splinters and pieces of glass.

•Is baby sick? Has she been running unexplained fevers?

•Have there been any recent emotionally traumatic events?

        Take your baby (and your notes) to the doctor for a thorough exam. Sometimes a toddler may refuse to walk for as long as a day or two, without any identified cause, and then she resumes walking. Toddler fracture, a slight break in the lower leg bones, are sometimes due to jumping from a high place. These almost always heal without treatment and are incidentally found years later on x-ray.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Doctor jokes here to share

        I just found two great doctor jokes. And I would like to share with you guys. Meanwhile, these jokes are from world best jokes.

There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "doctor I have a fever" The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine."

The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons. What shall i do?"

Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. I have great news. I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (Atlanta Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid. "Am I speaking to Mrs. Wilson?"
"Yes. Speaking."
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy.
"What are you saying? It's in your files. HOW?"
"Yes. We have a system of finding out who's overdue."
"GOD! This is too much."
"Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue."
"I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow."
That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "It's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? And if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle.

        Do you enjoy my jokes here? If you find some funny jokes, you can tel me! Share happiness, share fun, share smile!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Great animal jokes for kids

1. What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?    He whale-d.

2. What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.

3. What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab!

4. Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink!

5. What do you call an ant who likes to be alone? An independant!