Encouraging good behavior in your children

Ways of encouraging good behavior in your child properly without resorting to bribery.
     We have all had times when our child behaves like the diminutive version of Genghis Khan. There is nothing more demoralizing than seeing the little angel who tidied his room turn into the kid who throws his dinner at your mother in law, even though you may have been tempted to do the same at some stage it isn’t the point.

     There are ways to encourage your child to behave like a civilized human being without resorting to heavy handed tactics, some may work for your child and some may not, but the important thing to remember is that each child is an individual and handle them accordingly.

     Don’t ask your child if he wants to do something. Tell him. If you ask him if he would like to go to bed now, you are opening the pathway for a discussion. If you tell him it is bedtime, he knows that there is no other recourse but to go to bed. Talk as if you expect to be obeyed.

     If he yet again has behaved like a savage do not discuss his bad behavior in front of him. Rather send him off to play then talk to the other party, be it a teacher or co-parent. In front of him rather emphasize his improved or good behavior. If children hear negativity about themselves they tend to react negatively. Rather re-enforce the positive.

     Be clear in what you want from him. Don’t just issue a vague demand of “Be good”. Rather specify exactly what it is you want him or her to do. “Stop lying on the floor kicking your feet in the air”, lets him know you have noticed his behavior and you find it unacceptable.

     Children have a knack for changing or avoiding the subject. To do this he may look away or start talking about something else. Draw his attention back to you and repeat whatever it was that you said.

     Make sure he understands what you are saying. Go down to his level, look him in the eye, if he tries to look away gently take his arms and repeat what you say. Try not to threaten him or plead with him, this will not gain you any respect and once you have lost respect you have lost the war.

     Bringing up children as opposed to little heathens is not easy but following the golden rule will make your and your child’s life much easier. Be consistent, and gentle but firm.